Fun Water Cooler Convo Today

Kinda Funny / Rants

To set the stage…I work for a really small company with a very laid back, relaxed & friendly atmosphere. There are usually only 3 or 4 people in the office on any given day and we have a motto of sorts when it comes to dress code: we’re like 7-Eleven…no shoes, no shirt, no service. Beyond that, just about anything goes. Oh, and 99% of the time, I’m the only human in the room with two X chromosomes. 

I’m standing around this morning talking with 3 male colleagues – which in my office is an awful lot like standing around talking with old friends, which can be strikingly similar to standing around talking with 14 year old boys, but I digress…so, our Talent Acquisition Manager (his role is relevant) was telling us about a recent experience looking for a new nanny for his very young children (like not-even-in-kindergarten-yet young). He and his wife found a potential interviewee via, and apparently exchanged emails with her enough to schedule a face-to-face interview with her.

Considering he’s a Talent Acquisition Manager (aka recruiter) by trade…he makes his living by finding well-qualified, responsible, dependable, talented professionals and matching them to various roles in various organizations (we’re a consulting firm). And as such, he has the uncanny ability to search and uncover every single social media outlet that a potential candidate has ever even thought of posting on – seriously, like the Osama Bin Laden dogs.  And oh boy did he find pay dirt on this girl.

Even though she obviously tried hard to hide her Facebook profile, he found her…and the fodder she had to offer up on a silver platter, for a mid-morning water cooler roasting with, at-times-sophomoric grown professional men, was…let’s just say…plentiful.  And let’s just say if her online persona represented the epitome what anyone would be looking for to care for their 2 young children, I would have been deprived of the opportunity to practice expressing my sarcastic wit in writing, so I suppose I should be thanking the poor girl.

I shit you not, in addition to the standard plethora of super-sexy-duck-lips-and-peace-sign selfies, consistently foul language and general inappropriateness, this girl actually published the words, “white cracker crazy” in reference to herself (or something very similar…I should probably google that and confirm the exact quote to ensure my journalistic integrity.  Or not). If that weren’t cringe-worthy enough, she also did not fail to deliver the obligatory bitches-and-hoes-better-stay-away-from-my-man warning…as well as informing the whole world, in real time, of some event she was attending in which the “best boobies ever” would be present and accounted for. And for the grand finale, there it was…the mother-ship of all vile, vulgar, shameful insults one female can hurl at another: CUNextTuesday. Yup.  Now that’s classy.

Later this afternoon, the TAM told us his wife emailed the girl – she’s 23 years old, by the way – to gracefully un-invite her to meet with them, to which said 23 year old responds…wait for it…”um, ok.”  UM, OK?  Um, okaaaay…whatevs…SMH.

While I just love to think I’m so evolved that I don’t judge people and I have so much compassion for my fellow human beings, especially those who are so utterly clueless, my overwhelming urge was to grab her by her shoulders and shake the shit out of her – or more specifically, shake some sense into her.  Figuratively, of course.

Irritated as I was, and apparently still am, let me just put my hands back in my own pockets and tend to my own business. Let this just be a reminder to myself to adhere to my 2 golden rules of social media:

  1. Never, ever post anything online that you wouldn’t want your mother or child to read (unless, of course it’s true and about said mother or child…but I think you get my drift)
  2. Always make sure your virtual persona is synced up and in line with who you really are (unless, of course you don’t actually know who you really are.  In that case, you’re kind of screwed, so post away.)

I don’t know, maybe I have an advantage because of what I do for a living.  Maybe the general public doesn’t understand how big data works.  Let me fill you in, Mr. & Ms. John Q. Public: posting on social media is a lot like getting a tattoo.  You can change your mind and try to remove it, but it’s never completely gone.

Still…I do wonder…should TAM’s wife have told this girl the real reason they did not want to meet with her?  And if she had, would it have made any difference? TAM is convinced it would not have.  Maybe, is all I got.