Unconditional Love


I just finished reading a post that got me thinking…not that I haven’t thought about this before.  The author was presumably referring to unconditional love within the context of an adult relationship, specifically his or her own marriage.  I’m not going to link or re-blog because I suspect my differing opinion would be offensive or hurtful to the author.

But I do have a very different opinion on unconditional love among mature adults in romantic partnerships: unconditional love has no place there.  Love between people who are emotionally healthy, functional and available is absolutely conditional – it’s supposed to be. The condition is that both partners nurture it, grow it and don’t alienate it.  We are supposed to give and receive love only under the condition that we honor the social contracts we make with each other and participate as good citizens in our relationships.



  1. Caitlin says

    I loved this post! This is so true in regards to any relationship, be it with your family, a partner, or even just a friendship. My blog is actually really concerned with the research behind various aspects of relationships and you hit the nail on the head. I find myself wanting to write about something about social contracts and obligation in relationships next, so thank you for the inspiration! Maybe come check it out if you have time, I’d love to get your thoughts 🙂

    • Welcome and thanks for your response! I’m also concerned with research & science – there are some great TED talks on the subject!

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